


Therapy

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5sos happens later on, Anorexia, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self Harm, and the other boys are only mentioned until the end, self hate, vvvvv sad later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 09:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2383790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum has been here for months, and luckily hasn't had a roommate at all. But being shipped off to London in order to get help wasn't something he was too thrilled about- especially when summer ended and his parents, older sister, and 3 best friends had to go back to Australia, leaving him in the UK to fix his 'issues'. And he completely understands why, even though his parents love him to no end and love him and sent him there to ensure he could get better. He still felt bad- he felt like he was missing out on so much, and was stuck here with no assistance besides the nurses and people who left after 3 weeks.</p>
<p>That is, until he does get a roommate- Amber, the girl with blonde and blue hair and an extensive vinyl collection who automatically hates him, preferring to avoid him at all costs. She's said all of about 10 words to him, and either seems scared of him or too fucking confident for him to even say anything to try and talk to her. At this point, he needs a friend to maybe help him through- and it's painfully obvious that she does too, but won't open up no matter what he does. But Calum has made it his mission to make sure they both make it out alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Session One

_She’s new_ , was the first thing Calum thought when he spotted her.

The second?  _She’s hot._

 _But there’s no way she’s moving in._  Which was his third, and the one he voiced to the nurse.

"Sorry, Mr. Hood, but this is the only available bed, and she needs it." 

His eyes moved back over to the new girl, his eyes raking over her.

"Yeah, well, find another. I don’t share kindly." He repied coldly, the girl flinching slightly at his tone.

"Well, you’re going to have to learn, Cal." the nurse sighed. "She either comes here or is sent to America, away from everyone she knows. And we both know you don’t want anyone to feel alone like that, right?" 

He groaned, lying flat on his bed. It was late, almost 3am, and just  _why_  they were bringing her in  _now,_ of all times, was a wonder to him. “Fine, whatever.” The nineteen year old sighed. He’d been here 3 months now, knowing it was a blessing to go that long without a roommate- he’d just hoped it wouldn’t be a girl when it was. Co-ed rooming was only in dire cases, and apparently this one was. Unfortunately for him.

The nurse nodded, leading the girl to the other side of the room where the other- wait,  _her_ bed was, along with a dresser and bookshelf. Calum sat up, watching her as the nurse walked out.

She was shorter than him, no doubt, and was tanned, almost to the same extent he was. Her hair, in the moonlight from the window, shimmered almost as if it had been made of water, and, from what he could see, was a very pale lilac faded into light blue- and made him ache for home, with his best mate, who colored his hair as well. She had it down, a simple braid along the side and clipped in the back. All that she had brought with her was a black case, which she set on the third shelf up on her bookcase, and two bags- one with clothes and one with personals. She unpacked the personals first- vinyl records and books, which she orginized on the shelves, and a speaker system, iPod, and android phone. After sliding clothes into her drawers, Calum had enough and stood, walking over to her. She jumped, avoiding his eyes as she mumbled an ‘excuse me’ and tried to get by, which Calum blocked.

"I never introduced myself. I’m Calum."

"Amber." She replied in a whisper, still avoiding his gaze. He could tell she was uncomfortable with the whole situation and raised an eyebrow, moving to let her scurry off and into the joint bathroom. He rolled his eyes, walking to her record collection, flipping through. When she returned, her hair was pulled back and she had changed into a tank top and silk shorts. Her blue eyes widened and she pulled him away from her stuff and back over to his side of the room. "Last I checked, I didn’t say you could touch." She glared, pulling back her covers and climbing into bed.

"You didn’t, I just wanted to." He replied. When she narrowed her eyes at him, Calum snickered and raised his hands in defense, walking back over to his football star poster-clad side of the room and climbing into bed. 

But that night, he felt a sense of homesickness for the first time in weeks- wether from the new girl’s curly, colored hair, and nose ring, or the fact that his best friends hadn’t visited in nearly a month and a half and she had a similarity to them all, he didn’t know. He did know, however, that he didn’t fall asleep until the first rays of sun started showing through the window.

-

The next morning when Calum got up just before final call for breakfast in the cafe- 11 AM- Amber was already up, showered, dressed, and sitting on the windowsill with her headphones on, watching the ground below them. She didn’t acknowledge him when he got up, or when he returned and sat on the side of his bed with his back to her. She did, however, glance over to get a better look at her new roommate who, for some odd reason, thought it suitable to walk around in basketball shorts, a beanie, and nothing else. 

He looked over his shoulder at her just in time to see her head whip back to the window, and noted that her hair was blonde to blue, not lilac. One of her pedicured feet was dangling off the edge of her seat and her other light jean clad leg pulled up to her chest, tapping her foot to the beat of the song that was playing on the wood. He pulled himself up onto his bed, extending out with his arms behind his head, and caught her eye. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You know," He stated loudly, and he heard her sigh, taking out one of the earbuds. "If any music was actually playing, your record would be moving." Calum smirked as she glared, standing and changing the record. "What were you listening to anyways?" He stood up, walking over to her previous spot and sitting down, his head resting against the wall next to her shelf. She leaned over so she could see his face, giving him a bored look and a roll of her eyes before continuing to flip through her records again. 

"You know, you look like a lost puppy all the time."

"Yeah? It seems to work with the girls in the north wing."

"I’m sure it does." She commented, pulling one off the shelf, examining it before taking it out of it’s holder and placing it on the player.

"Ah, so you like Matt White?"

Amber ignored the question, replacing her earbuds as the record started.

"Okay, okay, I can take a hint." Calum smirked, walking over to his dresser. "Just so you know, we go to the shopping centre on Saturdays. Visitations are from eleven to seven, and you’re able to go with whoever’s visiting as long as you’re back by six." He explained, knowing she was listening. "You’re able to go outside at any time, just be here for meds or doctor visits, and lights out at midnight. Meaning in your room until six, and just don’t be too loud." He turned, clothes in hand, looking to where she had re-positioned herself. 

"And if you truly wanted to drown me out, you’d have the volume up and on."

By the time Calum got out of the shower and dressed, there was red tape from the middle of the doorway all the way to where she stood with her arms crossed in front of the windowsill. He arch an eyebrow at her.

"You stay on your side of the room," She pointed to his bed. "I’ll stay on mine, and we shouldn’t have any problem."

"O…kay?" He was confused to say the least, but she still gave a nod and grabbed her bag from behind her.

"Now, if you’ll excuse me…" She walked across the room, past where he was standing, and out the door. 

Twenty minutes later when he looked down out the window, she was in the grass, looking at the sky, a leather jacket pulled tight around her shoulders. He knew the look she had on her face well. It was the same one he had for days after he realized Luke, Ashton, Michael, or anyone he knew wasn’t going to visit again until next summer.

_The look of the abandoned._


	2. I'm a Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I’m a mess right now  
> Inside out  
> Searching for a sweet surrender  
> But this is not the end  
> I can’t work it out  
> How, going through the motions…

He didn’t see her for a few days, other than just after he woke up or when it was time for lights out, which made him very curious. She was never around for meds, and he never once saw her in the cafe for any meals. They hadn’t spoken since that day she went and sat outside.

It was Friday, around noon, and Calum wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong. He knew he should call for the nurse and let her know what was going on, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He had his headphones in, gnawing on his bottom lip, watching the ceiling with wide brown eyes, wondering what was going on at home. It hadn’t bothered him this much, and he didn’t think it should, but it did and he wasn’t sure what to do. He hadn’t heard from his friends in a while, or his sister, or even his parents. Had Michael redyed that godawful green? Was Luke still making covers on YouTube? Did Ashton finally quit that video store job and go to uni? And what about Mali-Koa, his sister? Did she move to London like she wanted? And did his parents maybe come and help her move in? Would any of them visit?

He felt himself squeezing the sheets, the Ed Sheeran song playing through his headphones coming to an end as he continued thinking. Did he matter to any of them? Probably not. He hadn’t heard from anyone since two weeks before Amber came. He doubted he would. Luke and- well, Luke had school. Michael had probably dropped out by now, sitting at home playing video games. None of the people here actually cared about him, they were just passing through. He’d been here three months and had gone through four groups of friends before they all checked out and moved on.

Stop being selfish, he found himself thinking, they have lives. They have better things to do other than think about you. Not like any of them care. You’re just a wave breaking on their beaches, nothing permanent.

With a thought of the ocean and the beach and waves, he felt himself drowning again, the same sense of floating along with no where to go and no one to see and no home to go to and no aspect of time and when he’ll get out, if he made it that far, and no feelings to feel and no song to sing anymore and no life in his eyes and-

"Calum."

He gasped, shooting straight up on the bed and ripping the earbuds out of his ears as his train of thought broke. He shook his head, taking deep breaths as he looked over to the source of the voice. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”

The nurse smiled. “Of course, dear. It’s time, by the way.” She held up two mini plastic cups, one with water and the other with little pills.

"Ah, okay." He shook his head again, running a hand over his face, surprised when he felt wetness on his temples. Calum reached his hands out, gripping the water gently as he popped the four pills into his mouth and then chasing them down the tasteless liquid.

"There we go." She smiled again. "Do you know where Amber is, by chance?" He shook his head. "Okay…" The nurse eyed him. "I’m gonna have her paged and then you and I are going to talk."

Calum sighed as she walked away, pulling his legs off of the bed and running a hand through his hair and resting them on his neck, looking at the tile floor. He faintly heard a voice over the intercom page his roommate, and the door reopened, and a new nurse stepped in, one who’d come the same day he had and they’d bonded instantly- her name was Jessica, and she was older than the rest of the staff by many many years, but could still sort pills and patients quicker than you could say that ten times fast. He smiled.

"Afternoon, Jessy."

"Calum," She nodded, sitting down next to him on the bed. "What’s running through that little head of yours, eh?" She smiled at him.

He sighed. “What isn’t is more the question. Here I was, thinking I was better, but one day off meds and…” He shook his head, shutting his eyes.

"And what?" She rested a hand on his back, rubbing gently. "You have to talk about it, you know."

"And I’m right back where I was when I came. Where I’m the captain of a sinking ship in a sea of oblivion, and I can’t find a way out. I haven’t heard from anyone back home in weeks, not even Mum. I don’t matter to any of them. It’s like… Like I’m the toy on the shelf that everyone wants to play with when it’s convenient for them." He looked over at her, knowing he was crying again. "Why do people only care when they need someone?"

She wrapped her arm around Calum’s shoulders, looking forward for a moment. Jessy sighed, squeezing his shoulders gently. “It’s not that they don’t want to reach out to you. It’s that they can’t. Your mum? She calls every day, but you’re never in when she does and your number changed when you moved here and you haven’t given it to us to give to her. Your friends, they’re finishing up school or working. And you? You can get out of that ocean. You have the perfect navigational system and you know how to fix those leaks in time, right?” She gave him a small smile. “You’ve got it all right here.” She poked at his head, pulling a giggle from him.

"I-I guess so."

"Well, I know so, Mr. Hood. Now, why don’t you pick up your phone, go outside to the courtyard, and call your mum, and then one of your friends. I know they’d like to hear from you." She smiled at him as he wiped at his face again, returning her smile.

The door open as he stood up, Amber emerging through it. “Sorry, I forgot that was starting today.” She started, walking over to Jessica and handing her her phone.

"That’s quite alright, darling. Now, let’s see… You know you need to be eating more, right? You won’t reach your quota if you don’t eat more."

Amber nodded, looking at the ground. “I know. There’s just nothing really appetizing here.”

"Well, how about you stay here and I go and find you a chocolate bar or something?" Jessica smiled, handing back her phone. Amber bit her lip, nodding slightly as she moved to her side of the room to flip through her vinyls again. "Calum, how about I walk you out?"

Calum nodded, his phone gripped in his hand as they both headed for the door. Once they were around the corner from their room, he turned to the older nurse. “Why’s she here? She seems like any other stuck up high school girl.” He rolled his eyes, and Jessica shot him a look.

"You know I’m not supposed to share that, Calum."

"But what if she kills me in the middle of the night?"

She chuckled. “She won’t, I promise. You two have a lot in common actually.”

"I don’t think so, Jessy."

"Trust me, you do."

"But why is she here?" He asked again as they approached the door.

Jessica sighed, glancing around them to make sure no one was listening before speaking. “Depression, self harm, anorexia- the main reason she’s here. Her blood sugar was so low she passed out four times in three days. We have to track her calorie intake every day to make sure she’s taking in what she needs to, and all of her friends abandoned her. They called us and told us that if they heard from the ‘crazy blue haired bitch’, they’d come and do things to her. So she has no one at this point since she has no parents, no relatives, no friends… Cal, She’s completely alone in this.”

Calum was silent as he processed what he was just told. Maybe that’s why she was so cold towards him. She probably didn’t want to let anyone in fear that they’d run off on her or use her again. He just nodded, pushing on the door to the courtyard. “Okay. I didn’t know…”

"No one did, Calum. Now go, call and talk to your mum and then try your friends again." Jessy smiled, pushing the door open for him before turning and heading to the staff lounge to get the food for Amber. Calum stared at his phone for a full minute before he finally unlocked it and dialed the number he knew by heart. He listened to it ring once… Twice…

"Hello?" He heard his mum’s voice, a wide smile breaking out across his face as he sat in the middle of the yard, directly in the sun.

"Mum?"

"Calum? Is that you? Oh my god, we’ve been worried sick! How are you?" He chuckled, his mom going on and on, thankful to hear a familiar voice.


End file.
